Captivating Book Review
- Parth Shah
- Mar 12, 2024
- 5 min read
Introduction
I read this book because it was recommended when I purchased John Eldredge's "Wild at Heart." I prefer to order several books in bulk rather than individually. When my wife saw “Captivating”, she laughed, and I realized I had made an amusing mistake. I asked if she was interested in reading it, but knowing she didn't have much time for reading, I decided to read it myself and share my thoughts with her.
The book, authored by Stasi Eldredge, John's wife, begins by clarifying that it's not a guide on how to be the perfect woman but rather an exploration of a woman's soul. This perspective was eye-opening for me. While reading "Fathered by God," I had pondered why some men struggle, particularly between the ages of 18 and 30. "Fathered by God" helped me understand a significant aspect of that puzzle.
I hadn't considered similar issues faced by women. Most of the women I know are remarkably mature compared to myself and my male friends or relatives. Approaching the book with an open mind, I was curious about its contents and found it to be a thought-provoking read.
Summary
Stasi Eldredge candidly shares her sense of aimlessness and uncertainty throughout her journey as a woman. She recounts pivotal moments, such as experiencing her first period and wearing her first bra, where she felt awkward and unsure of herself. In her quest for identity, she even delves into her involvement with the feminist movement, a path she thought would provide clarity but instead found to be limiting for many women.
Her narrative reveals a deep vulnerability and a genuine sense of being adrift as she navigates through life's challenges. As the book progresses, she becomes increasingly open, peeling back layers of her life much like St. Augustine in his confessional work "Confessions." "Captivating" is more than a mere self-help book; it's a semi-autobiography intertwined with Christian principles. As Stasi's first book, it reflects her journey of finding her voice and writing style.
However, one notable drawback is the occasional confusion caused by the dual authorship. Stasi's husband, John Eldredge, also contributes to the book. While the authors are indicated for each chapter, it would have been clearer if each chapter had a consistent author, rather than alternating between Stasi and John.
Analysis and Evaluation
This book, "Captivating," took me longer to read compared to John Eldredge's "Fathered by God." One of the reasons for this was its somewhat lacking structure. At times, it felt like the book was retracing its steps, reiterating points already made in previous chapters. Additionally, I read parts of it while on a trip to India, which also contributed to the delays.
Given that "Captivating" is primarily aimed at women, the pace of reading may differ between men and women. Nevertheless, I believe it's valuable for men to read this book to gain a better understanding of their wives and daughters. There are several key points from the book that I'd like to discuss:
Stasi Eldredge presents a thought-provoking idea about an attack on women, tracing it back to the story of Eve in the Garden of Eden. She suggests that Satan's temptation of Eve was rooted in jealousy of her beauty. While this perspective is intriguing, it's important to note that there isn't a clear scriptural reference to support this claim. The closest reference may be Genesis 3:15, which speaks of the enmity between the woman and Satan after the fall.
From this viewpoint, one can understand Stasi Eldredge's argument about an attack on women, manifesting in forms like physical, sexual, and verbal abuse as described in the book. However, it's worth mentioning that other movements, such as feminism, transgenderism, and homosexuality, can also be seen as part of this attack. These movements, in seeking to redefine gender roles and identities, could be interpreted as attempts to make women more like men. Transgenderism, in particular, can be viewed as a distortion of God's design, resulting in a distortion that can be considered Satanic.
Staci describes how her favorite story growing up was the story of Anastasia, a tale that my sister also loves. Our childhood was rough, especially for my sister, who was born during our father's business struggles, requiring our mother to work. I believe my sister longed for a better life, perhaps drawn to the idea that being a hidden princess could dramatically change one's life overnight. This longing for a better life, the idea that one could go from not having nice things to having them, is a feeling that I believe is deep down in all women who have had a not-so-great childhood.
The author argues that Eve, as God's final creation, is the "crown of creation," a statement that I find potentially problematic. She uses 1 Corinthians 11:7 to support this statement, which states, "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man." It's important to note that both man and woman are made in the image of God, and each has a unique role to play in the world.
Mrs. Eldredge discusses three key points that we can learn from Eve:
God is relational and has a heart for romance.
God desires to have adventures with us that are unique to Him.
God has beauty to unveil.
Let's pause here and acknowledge that the way both John and Staci Eldredge relate to God is very different from my own experience. Coming from a Jain Hindu background, I found God through apologetics, and thus, this type of relationship with God feels unfamiliar to me. While I attended several Pentecostal churches, I never fully embraced the concept of a romantic relationship with Jesus. While I believe in Jesus' love for us, I see God as too vast to be confined to a single perspective. In my experience, God meets us where we are; for me, that encounter happened through books, whereas for the Eldredges, it occurs in the woods when they climb rocks.
Conclusion
In summary, this book didn't resonate with me as much as I had hoped. However, it does contain valuable insights that I believe are important for women to consider. As a father, reading this book prompted me to reflect on my approach to raising my daughter. I appreciate the author's openness and vulnerability, which I found more engaging than a typical self-help book aimed at molding the perfect woman. Approach this book with a discerning eye. Despite its strengths, it may not align with your expectations. I rate it 3 out of 5 stars.